summer storms

The pitter-patter of rain sounds on the roof, and the smell drifts up through the open window.  Lightening fills the sky followed closely by the loud echoes of thunder.  Thunder is always louder around here because we live so close to the mountains.  They give it something to echo loudly off of.  I love thunder storms.  It's one of my very favorite parts of the Summer season.  I love listening to them and smelling that yummy smell of rain mixed with the dirt of the land.  Doesn't sound so yummy, but it's one of my favorite smells in this world.  I love how the sky and world turns a burned yellow color just as the sun is setting and a thunder storm is moving in.  I love watching the lightening as the bolts shoot across the sky.  In a strange way it's almost beautiful.  Of course loosing power for about 2.5 seconds was an exciting bonus for the night.  It would have been better if it had lasted a few hours instead of seconds.  I'm not sure why losing power always excites me, but it adds a little something extra to the excitement a thunderstorm already gives me.

I hope you had an enjoyable day & I hope you've been enjoying summer as well!

Reasons to LOVE summer:

1.  Warm

2.  Sunny

3.  Happy

4.  Vacations

5.  No school

6.  Most of my friends are now back in town :).

7.  Less stress.

8.  Longer days. (this is probably my favorite part.

9.  It isn't pitch black when I get up early for work.

Summer isn't really one of my favorite times of the year, but I think I did a pretty good job at looking at the positive side of things :).  I am not really a huge fan of the heat, but I do like that it's warmer than in the middle of the winter!  I am really sorry guys about this whole blogging thing.  It is my goal to get back into it.  Hopefully I haven't lost all of my readers....

happy

I have been neglecting this blog.

Often I have much to say, but when it comes time to sit down and write it out...nothing comes.  I type, then delete, then type again.  It goes back and forth until I either give up or hit that moment where the ice breaks and the words flow.

I don't always know how to get what I am thinking out and down on paper.  Or in this case, on the screen.  I'm afraid sometimes.  Afraid that my thoughts sound stupid, or that I'll completely fail at getting my thoughts and feelings out in words.  Somehow I've slipped into worrying about how others see me or think of me.

I need to work on not caring so much.  I need to work on not caring at all.  I want to be completely happy with who I am.  I just need to decide that I am happy with who I am.

fairy tale week.

One of my very very very favorite things are fairy tales.

I love them so much.

Which is why I thought that this last week was pretty much awesomeness.

The prince and princess got married

and the villain was defeated.

How often does something like that really happen?

Metathesiophobia

[fear of change]

I tend to get attached really easily.  To people, places, things, and mostly just the way things are.  I get comfortable and it makes it really hard when things start changing.  In fact, saying I get attached is basically an understatement.  I mean seriously, I almost get attached to the customer I had a nice conversation with while I'm ringing them up at work.  Sad, I know.  When I get attached to something or someone, I really mean I get attached.  It seems like when I get attached to someone or something, it's gone before I know it.  In a lot of ways it's like those customers at work.  Some of them I can't stand to be honest, but then there are those who I have a nice conversation with and for a second there is that connection and then seconds later it's "OK, have a nice day" and they're gone.   I usually never see them again.  It seems that way with everything.  I came in contact with really awesome people at school and sometimes they'd only be around for a semester and then they'd move onto the next thing in life.  And of course I got attached and it felt like they'd be around forever and that we'd be friends forever, but in what seems like two seconds...It's all gone.  And in reality, I don't talk to a lot of those people again.  It's sad. I mean, there are those few who I still talk to but it's really only a few of them.  I work in retail.  There are very few people who are permanently working as a cashier.  We go through employees like crazy it seems like.  In the past two years I've had my job I worked with quite a few different people.  I like and have liked 99% percent of the people I have worked with.  I think there are only a couple of people I could seriously live without, but for the most part I really like the people I work with.  It's sad when they come and go like they do.  It's constantly changing and I'm not a fan of it.  But I guess you could say I'm getting used to it.  It does tend to make things a little bit more interesting.. .right?  And I guess if there wasn't change I wouldn't have met all the different people I have had the privileged of meeting.  Change is a part of life, no matter how much I hate it.  I'm learning to handle it.  Maybe by the time I'm old and feeble I'll have learned to live with it, but for now, I still prefer things to stay still for a while.

you've fooled me.

I'm kind of one of those people who thinks of people as being generally good until they've proven otherwise to me.  Kind of like the innocent until proven guilty sort of thing.  I guess you could say I'm usually a pretty trusting person.  I usually think the best of people... which is why it throws me off so bad when people prove me wrong. Especially if it is a friend of mine, someone I've thought highly of and even maybe looked up to.  It brings about a confusion of a few different emotions and feelings when someone shows that they are a different person once you really get to know them.  I struggle in how I feel about that person afterwards.  I feel anger, confusion, disappointment and sadness.  Sometimes I feel stupid for overlooking the way a person really is and I feel anger towards them because they have deceived me in a way.  But at the same time, I feel sad that they do, think or act in certain ways and I feel bad that I feel so negatively towards them.  I sometimes find myself wishing to go back to the time before I knew the truth.  Sometimes living in ignorance of things sounds better than knowing the truth.  Because the truth of it is, that I never quite view that person the same.  Ever again.  Obviously people are going to be a little different once we really get to know them.  Quirks and habits show themselves and sometimes we discover that our friend has a temper or something.  But it's really sad when a person is a completely different person in public than what they are behind everyone's backs.  Being a super friendly and caring person in one light and then being a very rude and un-understanding (is that even a word?)  person in another is not cool.  At all.  It's deceitful and wrong.  It's with these people that I wish I could just turn back the clocks and go back to thinking that the mask they wear is the truth;  that the friendly, understanding person is the one that I know.

I don't know if any of that made sense... I'm just disappointed that they aren't who I thought they were...

my room, not yours

Almost everyday for the past month there have been at least one or two spiders just chillin' in my room.  

Not cool.

I think that they are planning to take over the world or something!

K, so that's probably a little bit dramatic, but they are at least taking over my house; my room, to be more specific.  I strongly, strongly dislike spiders.  They are creepy, crawly and gross.  I can't stand the way they move.  Ew, shudder.  

Last night there was the grossest, blackest and fastest spider I have ever seen in my room!  That thing ran across my wall in 2.5 seconds.  Seriously nasty.  It practically flew across my wall climbed onto my bookshelf, shot a web or something down it and somehow ended up on my door.  Luckily it was the outside part of my door so I quickly shut it so that it couldn't get back into my room.  Oh. my. gosh.  Creepiest/scariest moment of my life, right there (okay, not really... but it was one of them).  I couldn't really sleep much after that.  I had a dream that a giant tarantula in my house and it was coming for me... and then I woke up.  My mom just rolled her eyes at me when I recounted my experience to her.  She thinks my fear of arachnids is ridiculous.  She says that I should have just killed the spider, but in my defense I was planning on it.  I was just about to leave my room to grab the broom, when it shot across my wall like it had super powers or something!

Here's to all you arachniphobes out there.  I understand you.

cruelness

{via here}

Can I express to you how much I hate dislike daylight savings.
Holy cow.  It throws me off completely.  I slept in way late this morning because it didn't feel like it was that late which happened because I went to bed late last night because once again it didn't feel that late.  I mean really?  Who's bright idea was it to make it so that we have to change our clocks forward?  It only confuses me and succeeds in frustrating me because I can never figure out how it got to be so much later than it feels.  Okay, okay it only bothers me for the first few days, but seeing as how it is still only the first few days I feel like publicly complaining.

I suppose I do like daylight savings when it is fall back instead of spring forward.  Of course this is probably most likely because fall back is in my favor while spring forward is just cruel.  I would much rather gain an hour than lose one.

I have a very valid example that provides you with proof that spring forward is in deed cruel to me.  Saturday night/early Sunday morning I was laying in bed reading.  It was getting to be very late and I was thinking to myself how I probably should stop and go to sleep so that I could get up for 9 o'clock church.  I took a look at my phone and noticed that it was around 1:45 ish in the morning.  2 am was inching closer and I was not too keen on staying up much later than that since I had to be up around 8 in the morning.  I continued to read and got sucked in... which tends to happen to me when I read.  I realized that more time had probably passed than I had wanted and I looked at my phone once more.  3:15 am.  How in the world did it get to be 3 in the morning!?  I hadn't read that much in my book... not enough for it to have been a whole extra hours worth of reading.  How had I suddenly lost an hour?  This thought confused me all the way up to when I crawled into bed and turned out the light.  What the heck?!  How did a whole extra hour and half pass without me realizing it.  Then it hit me.  Daylight savings.  My phone's clock had moved forward and hour at 2 am.  Oh my gosh.  How could I have forgotten about daylight savings.  Geez.  Stupid clock and stupid person who thought up the stupid idea.... um, I mean, what?  I am a nice person and I commend the person who thought up the idea. It was a great idea....  End of complaining.   I'm tired and I'm rambling.  Goodnight blogging world.  I hope the change in time is sitting better with you than me.

all girl

Lately

I have been in love with all things 

girly

floral

&

vintage

I purchased this necklace today :).  I think it is adorable!

from this etsy shop: barberryandlace

which I have also mentioned previously here.

I absolutely love love love this shop!

addicted

c.h.o.c.o.l.a.t.e

this, my friends, is what I have been craving & eating for the last 3 days.

CHOCOLATE

in the more specific form of Hershey's chocolate kisses.

smooth, milk chocolaty goodness.

mm good.

random sidenote:

{if you stare at the word chocolate for long enough it starts to look a little bit weird}

er, for the record, i'm not a chocoholic..... i think...

l ♥ v e

I am for surely

winter-y cuteness by MeganAnn featuring a cream hat


only problem is, we haven't been having much winter-y weather.  It was pretty chilly today but for the most part snow has been absent and its been relatively warm.  Even though I enjoy the warmer weather, I still wish it'd turn real winter-y ever once in a while so I can wear the full on winter fashion; Pea coat, gloves, scarf & boots.  I may not be a complete fan of the cold winter weather all the time, but I sure do love the cute cute cute winter clothes you can wear to keep warm :D.

there is sunshine in my soul.

It's over.

Sweet relief.

Nerves are once again calm.

Life can move on. 

:)

I gave my talk.  Finally.  I even managed to do it without being too nervous!  I was nervous up until the moment, but while I was up there I was relatively calm and was able to give my talk without staring at my paper the whole time.  I dare to say that it was a success.

Thank you so much for all of your sweet words :). 

It meant a lot.

You guys are awesome.

***

Anyway, I recently discovered Polyvore.  I first came across it here & then re-discovered it here.  So, yesterday while I was putting off finishing my talk I created these:

taylor swift today was a fairytale by meganann featuring platform pumps

splash of red by meganann featuring circle skirts

pearly spring by meganann featuring bow heels

gray & pink tones by meganann featuring cable knit cardigans

nerves

It's almost here.  THE day.  Vomiting sounds like a good option.  

Palms might start clamming and knees start to shake.

I hope that the words I have planned to say don't escape me in the moment.

Wish me luck as the dreaded day draws nearer.

Speaking in church has never been what I would call a very pleasant experience.

Nor any form of public speaking for that matter.

Pray that I might approach it calmly and not be too fearful.

Thanks.

:)

pandemonium

why is it that i never go to bed at a decent hour?

i really really really hate any form of public speaking.

sunday needs to get here fast so i can get my talk over with.

i think that the world of harry potter should be real.

i really want to live there and play quidditch and do magic. 

it sounds way more fun than my current life.

ah, crap.  once again i did not do my visiting teaching this month.

there is still a few more days to do it right?

i decided that i was going to watch gilmore girls in order again.

i have now finished season one.  unfortunately that's the only one i own :(.

good news is:  i ordered season two today :).

it's been my goal to start reading my scriptures for longer than 2 seconds a day.

so far? i'm failing.

i have to work in the morning.  ew.  work lately has been...

dramatic and annoying.

i have this saturday off of work.

i have no clue how i got so lucky. 

it is very rare for me to have saturday's off. 

i haven't worn makeup once in the past 4 months or so.

mostly because i'm just too lazy to put it on in the mornings.

guys like girls natural right?

pretty much my entire ward is pairing off.

where is my man?

one of my best friends, Allie, got her mission call.

panama city, panama.  spanish speaking.

i'm so excited for her :).

end rambling here.

what's been on your mind lately?

"these are a few of my favorite things."

He is We, rain [the smell especially!], phone conversations, the color gray, my Nikon D3100, having lunch with friends I haven't seen in a while, blog stalking, blog comments, new blog followers, Gilmore Girls, Harry Potter books, music, pictures, & vintage things [this is a recent discovery & love].

He is knocking.

Sometimes I find myself in a rut.  I can think of a million things to blog about, but when it comes to sitting down and actually writing about them...I'm stumped.  I have a hard time getting out what I'm feeling or thinking in words sometimes.  That's pretty much what has been happening the past few days.  Sorry.  I'm back now though :).

via google.

On Sunday my bishop made a statement in his talk that made me think.  He said that we need to not only talk the talk, but walk the walk as well (I think he was quoting somebody when he said that... but I don't remember who it was or if he really was quoting anybody).  This got me thinking.  I mean, I've heard that before and I know it, but it was a really good reminder for me.  It got me to reflect for a moment on my life and whether or not I am living a Christ like life or if I'm spending most of my time just talking about it.  I feel like sometimes my life is a roller coaster.  I go through phases where I'm really on top of things and I spend time each day reading my scriptures and praying and I am focused on Christ, and then there are times when I fall behind.  I'm kind of in a lower point of life right now.  I am not taking the time to read my scriptures or pray and I'm not as focused on Christ.  It definitely does not make life any easier.  There are things that I need to do to get myself back on track.  One thing that he said in his talk was that we need to take baby steps when it comes to growing closer to our Savior and becoming a true disciple of Him.  I needed to hear that.  Sometimes I think, that I'm so small and have so much I need to work on and I let all of these things I need to work on overwhelm me.  It's a process that I need to take one step at a time.  He is always there for me, I just need open the door and let Him into my life.

so i have this crush

...on an animated man.  Don't even deny it, you probably have them too!  The animated character I am crushing on at the moment is:

Dimitri

(via google)

from Anastasia.

Ah, how I love that movie ♥.  One of my favorites for sure.  Isn't he such a handsome guy!  I know he starts out as this con man that only cares about money and such, BUT, he turns out to be so sweet and cute in the end!  Oh man. 

Who is your animated crush?

a year in review

2010 was kind of an uneventful year... and yet at the same time it was pretty eventful. Nothing huge really happened to me this year. I didn't get married, I didn't graduate from college, and I didn't get engaged. However there were some small, yet significant defining moments that happened to me.

It was during spring semester that I gained a stronger testimony of The Gospel and discovered that I can honestly say that I know my Savior lived and died for me. I know that he suffered for my sins. I know that he felt my every doubt, fear, and sorrow. He knows my pains and he knows my joys. He is the person who truly knows me inside and out, more than I know myself. This fact alone brings me great comfort. I also know that I have a loving Heavenly Father who also knows me well. He knows my desires in life. He knows what I want in life and He has a plan for me. I have learned that I need to allow him to take control of my life (sometimes easier said than done. I am working on it). I am not the in control. I only need to let Him take charge and learn what He would have me do. He has blessed me immensely and for that I am grateful.

Read more »

goals & desires for the year [twenty eleven]

Oh my goodness.  It's the last day of 2010.  Never again will it be the year 2010.  For some reason that always weirds me out.  To think that it's never going to be today again.  I know it's like that with everyday... but for some reason it really hits me when it's the last day of the year.  I'm weird, don't ask.  This year has been good.  I've discovered a lot of things about myself.  Some things good, and some things I need to change.  I'm grateful that I have another year to work on these things and to find out more about myself so that I can become that better person I am striving to be.  There are a few things that I hope to accomplish or do this next year.  Some are simple little things and some are big things that may take a lot of work.

become a better photographer

get over my fear of posing people 

when it comes to taking portraits

become better at editing photos

maybe try and sell some of my photos?

grow in my testimony of The Gospel.

become closer to my Heavenly Father 

and to my Savior Jesus Christ

read my scriptures and pray daily

figure out what I am doing with my life

(this one is proving to be a hard one at the moment)

get some new camera equipment

camera bag

tripod

extra battery

new lenses

finish my associates degree?

or at least get close

work on my relationships with my family

become more tolerant about things

work on my fear of the male species

they intimidate me. especially if they are attractive and smell good :P

print out blog posts since I haven't really

been keeping a journal.  for the most part my blog

has been my journal

learn how to get out of my comfort zone

become a better daughter, sister, and friend (and blogger ;])

Happy New Years!

snow, time, & change

I've been doing a little bit of changing to my blog as you can see.  No, this is not a new thing for me.  In fact it happens quite frequently.  I get bored with things and I have to change them.  I hope nobody minds, although I'll probably still change things even if someone does care.  ha!  Sorry my blog :).

It finally decided to snow.  Now.  After Christmas.  Lame.  We had a green Christmas instead of a white one.   I'm actually kind of excited about the snow.  Usually the thought "dang it, it's snowing" crosses my mind when it snows, but today I am thinking "yes! It's snowing.  Now I can get some gorgeous snow shots with my new camera!".  It's too late to take pictures now... but tomorrow I will for sure.  I might get annoyed with snow and wish it would go away, but there are things I really do love about snow.  I really like big snow flakes that just sort of float slowly down to earth.  I love how peaceful it is.  It's quiet and beautiful.  I love to sit and watch it from my window.  It gives me that feeling of peace even if for just a moment.  It's like a message from God telling me everything will be alright.  I love it.

I don't know if anybody else feels the same, but it doesn't feel like Christmas ever came.  I feel like it is still yet to come.  It came and went so fast my memories of it are sort of a blur.  I also cannot believe that it's almost the year 2011.  How weird.  I seriously feel as if we still should be at the beginning of 2010.  It's strange how the years fly by so fast.  It seems like they go faster and faster with each passing year.  I don't know if this is because I am getting older or if they are seriously just going faster.  I'm sure it's because I'm getting older, and I'm not sure how I like it.  If the years are going by as fast as they are now, then I'll be old before I know it!  Sometimes it scares me how fast time goes by.  I just want to grab it and hold it back, force it to go slower.  I fear running out of time.  I fear change and with time change comes.  Change is the only constant and I really don't like it.  Change on my blog I love ;), but change with other things I don't.  I just get so attached; attached to the way things are comfortable, or the people I am surrounded with.  With change sometimes comes stepping out of my comfort zone, something that I have a hard time with.  I always find a way to accept change, but sometimes I just wish that it wasn't so necessary.

Sorry for all the rambling.  I didn't intend for this post to be so long.

Oh and I'm entering a photo here: