a year in review

2010 was kind of an uneventful year... and yet at the same time it was pretty eventful. Nothing huge really happened to me this year. I didn't get married, I didn't graduate from college, and I didn't get engaged. However there were some small, yet significant defining moments that happened to me.

It was during spring semester that I gained a stronger testimony of The Gospel and discovered that I can honestly say that I know my Savior lived and died for me. I know that he suffered for my sins. I know that he felt my every doubt, fear, and sorrow. He knows my pains and he knows my joys. He is the person who truly knows me inside and out, more than I know myself. This fact alone brings me great comfort. I also know that I have a loving Heavenly Father who also knows me well. He knows my desires in life. He knows what I want in life and He has a plan for me. I have learned that I need to allow him to take control of my life (sometimes easier said than done. I am working on it). I am not the in control. I only need to let Him take charge and learn what He would have me do. He has blessed me immensely and for that I am grateful.

It was also during the spring time that I realized that sometimes things don't always go according to plan. I have found myself somewhere completely different than where I thought I would be at this moment. I originally had planned to be back at Snow College right now, working on a degree in music. This did not happen. I am currently at home and music is not at all in my plans for the future. Like I previously said; the Lord is in charge.

I learned that it truly is the small and simple things that bring great things to pass. I developed a testimony of scripture reading during spring semester. I have never been one to faithfully read my scriptures daily and if I do read it's usually a very small amount. During this time I was in aninstitute class and my teacher challenged us to read our scriptures daily for at least 20 minutes. Now, this wasn't an unusual request since I had been challenged to do this by almost every institute and seminary teacher I have ever had, but for some reason this time I really took it to heart. I faithfully read for 20 minutes daily during the semester. I have never felt better. Words can't even describe how this simple act changed my life. I will never again question why the church leaders stress scripture reading/ study so much. I have since found myself on a downward slope of neglecting my scripture reading. I no longer spend 20 minutes on my scripture reading. I am back to my old ways of reading a verse or two quickly before turning out the light and falling asleep. I hate it. I hate how I feel and I hate how frustrated I am with my life. I have found life to be confusing, complicated and a lot as of late. I strongly believe that my bad habit has a part in this. Take it from someone who has seen both sides. The small things really do matter.

It was during this past year that I started to recognize how much the Lord's hand truly is in my life. He is constantly sending tender mercies my way. I have been fortunate in my life during 2010 to meet some pretty amazing people. I met some people who truly changed my life during my last semester at Snow. I honestly don't know where I would be if they hadn't come into my life. I probably wouldn't be anywhere horrible or anything, but I don't think my testimony and the way I view things would be completely the same without their examples and the things they taught me. It's definitely a witness to me that I was where I was supposed to be. I truly believe that my meeting them was for a reason and that they were definitely angels sent to me. My personal tender mercy from my loving Father.

"I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return"


-For Good, Wicked

I couldn't have said it better myself. I unfortunately had to leave my amazing friends at Snow. Most of us went our separate ways, but fortunately we live in a time where technology is in existence. Keeping in contact is made easy. For this I am grateful.

Change is something I have had to learn to get used to. It was reconfirmed to me this year that change is the only constant. One of my best friends got married. I had taken it for granted that we had each other. We told each other everything and we talked all of the time. Every time something happened to either of us we told the other person first. In about June this all began to change. All of a sudden I wasn't the person she would come to first. I was always the second person she told and sometimes she didn't tell me things at all. A boy had taken my place. This was tragic for me. I had friends get married before this so I wasn't exactly foreign to my friends leaving me, but this was the first time someone so close to me got married. I struggled with some jealousy and I honestly thought a part of me had died. Wow, sorry I just realized how dramatic I sound ha ha. Anyway, this event showed me once again that change is something I can't run from. It's always there.

From 7th grade up until I graduated from high school I was basically defined by music. All I ever did was eat sleep and breath band. I played the flute. In fact I didn't just play it I basically lived with that instrument. It became an extension of my arm; an extra limb. I do not regret one moment of my experience in the band, in fact I miss it sometimes. I learned a lot of valuable things during those years and met and made many amazing friends. Coming out of high school I realized that I didn't really want to make music that much apart of my life in the real world. I realized quickly that the world of music I knew during my high school years was not entirely the same afterwards. I didn't enjoy my music classes quite as much in college. Don't get me wrong, I still have a deep love for music and I still hold my talent of playing the flute dear to me. I just don't think it's meant to be what I spend my life doing. I have come to realize this year some talents I did not know I had and I have found some things that I didn't know I loved. I have not left the world of art completely however. I have simply moved from the performing arts to the visual arts. To name a few: photography, photo editing, scrapbooking and any other craft form. I have found new loves and this makes me happy.

I continue to learn daily. I am grateful for life's experiences and the opportunity they give me to learn and grow. I may not appreciate all of my experiences as they are happening to me, but I love that I can look back on them and realize how much they help me. It never ceases to amaze me how much the Lord really does know what he is doing. My future is kind of a mystery right now. I just have to put my faith in the Lord and know that he will guide me through it just as he has always done in the past :).