Thursday, March 31, 2011


[fear of change]

I tend to get attached really easily.  To people, places, things, and mostly just the way things are.  I get comfortable and it makes it really hard when things start changing.  In fact, saying I get attached is basically an understatement.  I mean seriously, I almost get attached to the customer I had a nice conversation with while I'm ringing them up at work.  Sad, I know.  When I get attached to something or someone, I really mean I get attached.  It seems like when I get attached to someone or something, it's gone before I know it.  In a lot of ways it's like those customers at work.  Some of them I can't stand to be honest, but then there are those who I have a nice conversation with and for a second there is that connection and then seconds later it's "OK, have a nice day" and they're gone.   I usually never see them again.  It seems that way with everything.  I came in contact with really awesome people at school and sometimes they'd only be around for a semester and then they'd move onto the next thing in life.  And of course I got attached and it felt like they'd be around forever and that we'd be friends forever, but in what seems like two seconds...It's all gone.  And in reality, I don't talk to a lot of those people again.  It's sad. I mean, there are those few who I still talk to but it's really only a few of them.  I work in retail.  There are very few people who are permanently working as a cashier.  We go through employees like crazy it seems like.  In the past two years I've had my job I worked with quite a few different people.  I like and have liked 99% percent of the people I have worked with.  I think there are only a couple of people I could seriously live without, but for the most part I really like the people I work with.  It's sad when they come and go like they do.  It's constantly changing and I'm not a fan of it.  But I guess you could say I'm getting used to it.  It does tend to make things a little bit more interesting.. .right?  And I guess if there wasn't change I wouldn't have met all the different people I have had the privileged of meeting.  Change is a part of life, no matter how much I hate it.  I'm learning to handle it.  Maybe by the time I'm old and feeble I'll have learned to live with it, but for now, I still prefer things to stay still for a while.


Jessica Kay said...

I understand what you mean!! That's how I feel to the 'T' But...I need to try to not be afraid of change, it terrifies me...and I need to get over it. Which is why I want to go to Institute in Orem, i'll be finally getting out there and doing something that's good and...hopefully I'll be able to meet someone. I just hate being afraid...so I need to take a step towards that which scares me. Hope you can come with me to the Orem Institute!!

Cynthia said...

Can i just say that we have a freaky mind connection or something cuz i have been thinking about this alot too! I am scared of change but when it comes I find it is what needs to happen. BUT can i just say that no matter what we will always be friends and i am will always be there for you!