mixed feelings.

Me Tonya and Allie spent one last night together before Allie leaves for her mission.

I don't know how I feel about it.  

I'm so proud of Allie and excited for her to be able to go out and serve the Lord,

but I'll miss her.

It felt kind of weird knowing that this was the last time I'd see her or hear her voice for 18 months.

I will definitely be writing plenty of letters to her :).

[here is where I'd post one of the pictures of us together that we've taken the last few days, but I don't have them.  They are in Tonya's camera and she is a slacker and doesn't give them to me. But stay tuned for pictures k?]

sister missionary

Okay, first of all, who's bright idea was it to make flavored pills!

I just took some cold medicine and the pills are flavored.

Seriously, disgusting.  I practically gagged on it.  Gross.

Am I the only one who is bothered by this?

***

Anyway,  my friend Allie is going on a mission in just a few weeks.  Crazy how soon she'll be gone.  It's sad :(.  I will miss her.  We went on a photo shoot today to get some "mission pictures" taken.  She wanted me to take some so that she could scrapbook them.  We didn't get a whole lot taken because the weather decided to hate us.  It's kind of hard to take pictures in the wind.  It kept threatening to rain as well.  But, we ended up with a few good pictures.

:)

I love conference weekend.

Plus I had work off both Saturday and Sunday.  So that was a bonus.

What better way to spend the weekend than to be able to learn about Christ & His gospel ♥.

I love that there are two days dedicated to listening to the Prophets and Apostles 

testify of Christ, twice a year.  It is truly a blessing.

be of good cheer

Today, in sunday school we talked about Matthew chapter 14.

25. And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea.
26. And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, say
ing, it is a spirit; and they cried out for fear.
27. But straightway Jesus spake unto them, sayuing, be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.
28. And Peter answer him and said, Lord, if it be thoug, bid me come unto thee on the water.
29. And he said, come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.
30. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.
31. And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?

Inserted right there in the pages that contain these verses is a "glue in", a piece of paper I was given by one of my seminary teachers back in high school.  It says:

"While [Peter's] eye was fixed on his Lord, the wind might toss his hair, and the spray might drench his robes, but all was well'. Only when with wavering faith he removed his glance from the Master to look at the furious waves and the black gulf beneath him, only then did he begin to sink...

"It is my firm belief that if as individual people, as families, communities, and nations, we could, like Peter, fix our eyes on Jesus, we too might walk triumphantly over the swelling waves of disbelief and remain unterrified amid the rising winds of doubt. But if we turn away our eyes from him in whom we must believe, as it is so easy to do and the world is so much tempted to do, if we look to the power and fury of those terrible and destructive elements around us rather than to him who can help and save us, then we shall inevitably sink in a sea of conflict and sorrow and despair"

I don't know who said it, but it was in a Conference talk in October of 1992.  I can truly testify that when we are fixed and focused on the Savior we cannot and will not sink. Those times in my life when I have been focusing the most on my Savior Jesus Christ I know I cannot fail.  He is there to comfort me and help me up.  Christ said, "Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid".  This brings me comfort because I know that I don't need to be afraid when I am focused on Him.  He is there to help me in every aspect of my life.  When Peter cried out and said "Lord, save me."  Christ immediately stretches forth His hand and caught him.  The same applies to me and you.  When we cry unto the Lord to save us, He will immediately stretch forth His hand and catch us.

I am so grateful that I have an older brother and Savior who is willing to help me and love me unconditionally. No strings attached.

♥

comfort ♫♪

Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;

With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.

Leave to thy God to order and provide;

In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend

Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake

To guide the future as he has the past.

Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;

All now mysterious shall be bright at last.

Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know

His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on

When we shall be forever with the Lord,

When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,

Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.

Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,

All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

D&C 101:14-16:

14. And all they who have mourned shall be comforted.

  15. And all they who have given their lives for my name shall be crowned.

  16. Therefore, let your hearts be comforted concerning Zion; for all flesh is in mine hands; 

be still and know that I am God.

♥

I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me,
Confused at the grace that so fully He proffers me;
I tremble to know that for me He was crucified,
That for me, a sinner, He suffered, He bled and died.


O it is wonderful that He should care for me
Enough to die for me!
O it is wonderful, wonderful to me!


I marvel that He would descend from His throne divine
To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine;
That He should extend His great love unto such as I,
Sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify.

I think of His side, pierced and bleeding to pay the debt,
Such mercy, such love and devotion can I forget?
No, no! I will praise and adore at the mercy seat,
And testify all my desires He doth fully meet.

 --How Great Thou Art

tender mercies of the Lord

 

 Psalms 145:9

"The Lord is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works."

1 Nephi 1:20

"...But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance."

♥

communication w/Him

I didn't die.  I'm here, back from that little sabbatical I took.   I kind of hit a patch of uninspiredness (I'm aware that's not a word.  I make up words all the time.  It's fine).  It's not that I haven't thought about posting... it's just that I didn't know what to write.  But I'm cured for now.

Anyway,
Today in church we talked about how taking the time to pray and read the scriptures is our opportunity to have one on one time with our Heavenly Father.  This concept kind of hit me.  I've never really thought about that a lot before.  It kind of makes me feel bad for not doing it more often.  I'm passing up such an awesome opportunity. I mean how cool is it that we have a way to communicate with Him.  It's amazing as it is that we have somebody there for us always, supporting and helping us in everything we do.  He'll never abandon us and He always knows what's best for us.  It only makes it 10 million times more amazing that we have a way of communicating with Him.

Looking at it in that way motivates me to do what Gordon B. Hinckley once said and "try a little harder to be a little better".

:)

He is knocking.

Sometimes I find myself in a rut.  I can think of a million things to blog about, but when it comes to sitting down and actually writing about them...I'm stumped.  I have a hard time getting out what I'm feeling or thinking in words sometimes.  That's pretty much what has been happening the past few days.  Sorry.  I'm back now though :).

via google.

On Sunday my bishop made a statement in his talk that made me think.  He said that we need to not only talk the talk, but walk the walk as well (I think he was quoting somebody when he said that... but I don't remember who it was or if he really was quoting anybody).  This got me thinking.  I mean, I've heard that before and I know it, but it was a really good reminder for me.  It got me to reflect for a moment on my life and whether or not I am living a Christ like life or if I'm spending most of my time just talking about it.  I feel like sometimes my life is a roller coaster.  I go through phases where I'm really on top of things and I spend time each day reading my scriptures and praying and I am focused on Christ, and then there are times when I fall behind.  I'm kind of in a lower point of life right now.  I am not taking the time to read my scriptures or pray and I'm not as focused on Christ.  It definitely does not make life any easier.  There are things that I need to do to get myself back on track.  One thing that he said in his talk was that we need to take baby steps when it comes to growing closer to our Savior and becoming a true disciple of Him.  I needed to hear that.  Sometimes I think, that I'm so small and have so much I need to work on and I let all of these things I need to work on overwhelm me.  It's a process that I need to take one step at a time.  He is always there for me, I just need open the door and let Him into my life.

a year in review

2010 was kind of an uneventful year... and yet at the same time it was pretty eventful. Nothing huge really happened to me this year. I didn't get married, I didn't graduate from college, and I didn't get engaged. However there were some small, yet significant defining moments that happened to me.

It was during spring semester that I gained a stronger testimony of The Gospel and discovered that I can honestly say that I know my Savior lived and died for me. I know that he suffered for my sins. I know that he felt my every doubt, fear, and sorrow. He knows my pains and he knows my joys. He is the person who truly knows me inside and out, more than I know myself. This fact alone brings me great comfort. I also know that I have a loving Heavenly Father who also knows me well. He knows my desires in life. He knows what I want in life and He has a plan for me. I have learned that I need to allow him to take control of my life (sometimes easier said than done. I am working on it). I am not the in control. I only need to let Him take charge and learn what He would have me do. He has blessed me immensely and for that I am grateful.

Read more »

{Christ}mas is here

Something hit me tonight.  Something that I've always known, but for some reason really struck me tonight while I was watching the First Presidency's Christmas Devotional.  We have living Apostles on the earth today.  Just like when Christ walked the earth.  We also have a Prophet of God living here, on the earth.  Now.  I love this fact.  I love that we have the Prophet and Apostles.  I love that we have a way that God can speak to us.  He speaks to us through them.  I just don't know how to express to you through words how amazing and important I think this is.  We are so blessed to be able to listen and learn from these men about what the Lord would have us know and learn.

President Uchtdorf's [he's one of my favorites!!!] talk really got me thinking about things.  He talked about how a lot of times people get like the Grinch from How The Grinch Stole Christmas, around this time of year.  We get overwhelmed and stressed about Christmas and wish that it didn't come.  He talked about how we need to remember the true meaning of Christmas.  Our hearts need to grow just like the Grinch's did.  There is so much commercialism in Christmas these days. We tend to think a little bit too much time thinking only about presents, finding the perfect present, catching all the amazing Christmas sales, Santa Clause, etc.  Not that these are bad things, but what we need to remember is that Christmas is about celebrating the birth of our Savior.  I know that I often times forget that this is what Christmas is all about.  I focus on the presents and the worldly side of Christmas.  I need to try a little harder to remember Christ in Christmas this year, because he really is the meaning of Christmas.  I hope we can all take this moment to stop and reflect on things and remember what Christmas is truly about.

You can watch the devotional here.